The 26th annual WrestleMania emanated from University of Phoenix Stadium Sunday night, with an attendance said to be upwards of 72,000 fans. Sadly, the show needed saving. The first half of this show, in my opinion, was not even close to WrestleMania quality, and before the main events started I thought this was a pretty poor edition of 'Mania. That being said, the main events, in particular Undertaker vs. Shawn Michaels, saved the show, to the point that I would say it was decent. Was it worth the 64.95? Not at all, and if you missed the show I wouldn't worry about ordering a replay. The only match you really should see is 'Taker/HBK part II. As for the review, matches are rated out of 5 stars (*****).

1. Unified Tag Team Championship Match
The Miz (c) & Big Show (c) vs. R-Truth & John Morrison

Match lasted 3 minutes and offered absolutely nothing of value. It felt like a midcard Raw match. 'Showmiz' won after Show made a blind tag and punched Morrison. *1/4

2. Randy Orton vs. Ted Dibiase vs. Cody Rhodes

The buildup for this was absolutely horrendous, but I will say the match was better than I expected, but I wasn't expecting much. Crowd really did treat Orton like a huge babyface, which was funny to see, and everything he did got a big pop, especially the finish. Unfortunately, the finish was also a total burial, and Legacy came out of this looking like total jobbers. Match was fine though, but had no business being on a WrestleMania card. **1/4

3. Money in the Bank Ladder Match
Christian vs. Jack Swagger vs. Kofi Kingston vs. Evan Bourne vs. MVP vs. Kane vs. Drew McIntyre vs. Shelton Benjamin vs. Matt Hardy vs. Dolph Ziggler

This was a very good match. There were the usual ladder spots but they had some very creative ones as well, inlcuding Kofi using a broken ladder as stilts to try and climb up to the briefcase. There were some sloppy spots, but overall the execution of all the moves was solid, despite there being a lot of wrestlers working the match. Another thing of note is that Kane had NEW TIGHTS~!~! for the first time since September 2003. At the end Christian was about to win, but Jack Swagger slammed his head with the case, and in a moment where time stood still, took about 40 minutes to get the briefcase off the hook. Despite this botchery, the match was quite enjoyable. ***1/2

4. Triple H vs. Sheamus

This match wasn't anything special but it was better than I expected. Still, slightly above average matches were up and down this card and that has no place on a WrestleMania show. Another thing I did not like about this match was the outcome. There was no way Hunter should have won this match, and the fact that he didn't give Sheamus a big win says a lot. Match was fine though, and there were some pretty good near falls and the crowd got into it by the end. **1/2

5. Rey Mysterio vs. CM Punk

Most dissapointing match on the show. For the amount of time they got, it was good, but unfortunately they only got 6 minutes, so great this was not. It wasn't their fault because they got cut on time, but this was very frustrating. Could have been one of the better matches on the show, instead it was merely OK. **

6. No Holds Barred Lumberjack Match
Bret Hart vs. Vince McMahon

Oh. My. God. This sucked. It started when Vince came out with the rest of Bret's family, and said they were working against Bret tonight. Then, in a 'swerve,' his family turned on Vince and it turned out it was a set up again. So Bret screwed Vince. Yee Haw. His family then became lumberjacks. Match went 10 minutes, and it consisted of Vince being beaten up (badly) on the outside by the Hart family, and then Bret weakly hit him with a crowbar for a long time, and then hit him with a chair for a while, and then put him in the sharpshooter. The crowd, was utterly silent. When this was over, it made me wish Bret hadn't come back, because this sendoff was even worse than when he got screwed. Both guys could barely move. This was just sad. -*

7. World Heavyweight Championship Match
Chris Jericho (c) vs. Edge

Show started to pick up at this point, but not by a whole lot. Match was good but not at the level of a main event world title match at 'Mania. It built very slowly, but when when it was starting to get good it ended. Jericho retained (shockingly) after a belt shot behind the refs back and a codebreaker. Match was good but nothing special, would have been better had it taken place at another ppv and not the biggest show of the year. ***1/4

8. 10 Diva Tag Match
Michelle McCool, Layla, Alicia Fox, Maryse, & Vickie Guerrero
vs.
Kelly Kelly, Mickie James, Eve Torres, Gail Kim, & Beth Phoenix

This was horrendous. I mean, just an abortion of a pro wrestling match. Finish came when vickie did a frog splash off the ropes onto Kelly Kelly, and even though it was supposed to be the finish, the ref counted two and said that Kelly's shoulders were up (which they were, but Christ just count the pin anyway), and then Vickie stood up, went back down, and just pinned her again. Awful. DUD

9. WWE Championship Match
John Cena (c) vs. Batista

The most predictable match on the show (how shocking). I mean, if you thought Cena was going to lose this match you need your head examined. This was not pretty early. They managed to botch a suplex, and Dave nearly killed Cena with what was supposed to be a rolling DDT. They were also doing some sort of bear hug / choke spot that was baffling to see. Cena at one point did a 5 knuckle shuffle off the top rope, and missed Dave by about 10 feet to the point that it was hilarious. Well, would have been hilarious had this not been the biggest show of the year. That being said, the crowd was super into this match by the end it turned out to be pretty good, and they did have a good finishing sequence and traded some exciting near falls. One of those was the same spot they did at Summerslam 2008, where Cena jumped off the top into a Big Dave bomb. Unfortunately, when they did it this year, they totally fucked it up. I was wondering if Cena broke his neck again. Anyway, by the end I thought the match was good and the crowd enjoyed it, but it was predictable and utterly too sloppy for me to give this a higher rating than 3 stars. ***

10. No DQ Match "Streak vs. Career"
Undertaker vs. Shawn Michaels

This match saved the show, and I wouldn't be surprised if this won match of the year for the second straight year. Just a spectacular match with two of the greatest of all time. I don't like comparing this to last year's match, but I'd say it was as good, but not better. Definately a match you need to see. At one point Shawn gave 'Taker a moonsault off the top rope through the announce table, which was utterly insane. There were some great near falls, both guys kicked out of each other's finishers. Just a tremendous main event, one of the better matches in WrestleMania history. After the match Shawn and 'Taker shook hands, and then Shawn had a nice moment standing in the ring to a standing ovation. Is Shawn's career actually over? Only time will tell, but if he had to pick a match to go out on, I can't blame him for making it this one. ****3/4

Do not pay $64.95 for this show. This was not an awful ppv, but I would not classify this as a good WrestleMania. The main event was the only thing worth rewatching on the entire show, and the rest was pretty forgettable. Who would have thought the the two oldest guys on the roster would save a show two years in a row? Unbelievable, I miss HBK already. Hopefully Undertaker doesn't soon follow.

Earlier this week I promised to deliver a sequel to my critically acclaimed critical look at Vince McMahon and a small sampling of what is surely a plethora of bad business moves. Surely, I could easily push this promise aside just like Vince pushed all his promises aside to Brett Hart in the mid-90’s. However, I am a far more noble man than Vince McMahon could ever hope to be, and unlike him I care not only about the financial success of ETS Daily but also the happiness of all my readers even if it means slightly more work. Fortunately for me the two usually go hand in hand; something Vince would be wise to learn and something ever fan would surely benefit from. Moving on: We’ve already talked about the past (Hulk Hogan) and the future (Bryan Danielson), so now let’s take a look at the middle ground.

HHH (Hunter Hearst Hogan): Before getting to the substance of my article, I feel it necessary to take a quick detour. I will however continue along the same road, that road being one paved with tumultuous insults and criticisms. While HHH is no were near as bad a worker as Hulk Hogan was he surely is undeserving of the praise and position he receives. Like Hogan, HHH took moderate ability (below average in Hogan’s case) and politicked his way to the top. For each man the world revolves around them, their egos bigger than their arms and their move sets as small as their brains. *HHH was once a great worker, but would now much rather incorporate himself into comedy skits in an attempt to mock (devalue) other workers. Thus making him a culprit in Vince’s bad investments. However, Vince’s guilt in this situation is slightly different. In this case as was the case with Hogan, Vince is guilty of overinvesting in a one dimensional dime a dozen worker. To put it in terms of the Olympics, HHH is a bronze medal worker (ironically the same color as his skin), yet Vince is continually puts HHH at the top of the podium. HHH wears the big gold belt around his bronze colored waist and every second he does he devalues it. Just liked a cheap “gold” necklace the next poor soul to wear it is stuck not only with an ugly green tinge on their skin, but also layers of low-priced bronzer. By selling bronze as a certified gold product, Vince is messing with the free market and the economic idea of rational self interest, he isn’t getting a fair market return on his investment and the fans aren’t getting what the paid for.

Elijah Burke: Initially Vince was guilty once again of attaching a prestigious product (Burke) with a steaming pile of shit (Sylvester Terkay). Rather than use Burke for his talent which includes tremendous public speaking skills and even more superior athletic ability, Vince thought it better to use his gift of gab to get a man who lacked any skill over. Fortunately for a brief period of time Vince allowed Elijah to spread his proverbial wings. During this time Elijah’s “stock” grew, he proved to the world he could walk the walk and wrestle the wrestle, he had established a fan base, a move set and even some catch phrases (5-UP!). Sadly, circumstances were reminiscent of the lead character in a recent motion picture masterpiece; Vince had only appeared to learn his lesson and quickly reverted to his old ways. After barley a year (counting from the firing of Terkay) of shining through the filth that is a majority (although not all) of the WWE roster and sporadically appearing on TV; Burke was fired. Vince had made some major investments (including a Wrestlemania match), he had bought into Burke stock low when he was a relative unknown and had fired him when his stock was high, as a bonafide athlete (albeit one who frequently jobbed out). While such methods work great in the stock market, wrestlers are the type of stock that pay weekly dividends rather than lump sum payments at the time of sale. When you build up a wrestler you hold on to him until he stops paying dividends, when he loses the ability to work, not when they are at the top of their physical game. Luckily Vince isn’t the only investor in the market, and Elijah seems to be doing quite well for himself in a place that allows him to utilize his assets and the fans to appreciate them.


While I would love to say that Vince has learned from his mistakes and that the product is on a never ending upward swing, I am not that naive. Luckily for ETS Daily readers that means that more Vince articles will surely be posted in the future

Today I come to you with some unfortunate news: the NBA is on course to become the NFL. Sadly, I am not talking about getting multiple games every Sunday, on every major network. No what I am referring to is the NBA’s rapid transition into over-regulation, the likes of which this country hasn’t seen (with the exception of the FDR, the Obama, and the Goodell administration). Shades of this move could be seen earlier this season when the NBA fined Milwaukee Bucks rookie Brandon Jennings not for his ridiculously stupid haircut, but for twitting 45 minutes AFTER the game had ended. Soon after the NBA’s resident libertarian Mark Cuban criticized a referee’s poor performance in a game via twitter and was fined $25,000. After the initial fine Cuban fired back with a another tweet stating “can’t say no one makes money from twitter. now the nba does” (notice the lack of capitalization of NBA a clear sign of Mark’s lack of respect for the NBA). Such a move would have caused the more sane and conservative Roosevelt roll around in his grave, as ability to criticize the government and other authority figures was paramount to his belief system.


Despite such erroneous policies, David Stern thought he hadn’t done enough to justify his massive paycheck (in 1996 he had a $35 million five year deal and I assume its only risen), all while the NBA is set to lose roughly $400 million after four years of losing $200 million a year (presumably all from the WNBA and the NJ Nets). But as one of the highest paid commissioners in all of the 90’s who was Stern to look to? Roger Goodell (student of Bud Selig) the epitome of an overpaid and his fascist No Fun League.
While there is surely numerous examples to prove my point I will only focus on the most recent. In a clear smack in the face to Social Darwinist, Stern has decided to ban the chewing of straws during games. Not only does this policy seek to protect people from themselves something that makes Social Darwinist squirm, but it also contains a hallmark requirement for an unjust law; it targets a specific individual. That individual being Dallas Mavericks Star Caron Butler. While some will say this is an attack on Butler, I am wise to the ways of David Stern and realize that this is really a attack on Mark Cuban owner of the Mavericks. Butler has been chewing twelve straws a game for over 12 years now, clearly safety is not Stern’s concern. So why now?


Cuban has been very uppity as of late, with his appearance on WWE Raw and his twitter war and this is Stern’s way of sending him a message. Stern hopes that by changing up Butler’s in-game rituals he can throw him off his grove and derail the Mavs from their previously assured playoff spot. Want further proof? Stern has yet to ban Lebron for chewing gum; gum if swallowed not only poses a chocking risk, but also as revealed in a 1998 study by the Journal of Pediatrics: if swallowed gum can accumulate in the intestines causing intestinal pain and constipation. Will it is doubtful Stern will retreat on this issue, the least he can do is sever ties with Goodell and study under the tutelage of Cuban on issues of law and liberty.

Bob Dylan is known by different faces to different people. The modern generation may know him best simply for the use of his song, "Times they are a changin' " used recently in the hit motion picture The Watchmen, others know him best for his work with civil rights and other political movements, most however know him simply as a great musician. The one side of Robert, that has managed to escape public memory, at least in recent years, is his abrasive side. Below I present you with my favorite of the many faces of Bobby.



After watching the clip, it is impossible not to fall in love with Dylan. It is axiomatic, that years later Vince McMahon would watch this video and use Dylan's in-your-face attitude as a pro-type for Stone Cold Steve Austin. Throughout the process, Dylan frequently told flat-out lies, for instance stating that his songs had absolutely no meaning, and doing it all with a straight face. But more importantly Dylan did what Steve Austin would do oh so many years later, tell a man who was clearly detached from the wants of his viewers the truth. Steve and Dylan pulled no punches on their respective fat cats, as they were both told they had no understanding of how the companies they ran actually worked. Somehow both manage to do what so few men are capable of today, be honest, crass, and popular with the masses all at the same time. They told their superiors to take their bullshit and walk, all the while urging the masses to question the status quo and the mundane repetitive life it surely leads to. These men are an inspiration to all and an entertaining reminder that just because someone has already made billions of dollars in a given industry and has decades more experience than you doesn't mean they are right. But most important of all it teaches us that you don't have to be polite or professional in any sense of the word in order to become famous and widely popular multimillionaire.
Thanks Bob!

As I have said in the past, Vince does some incredibly bone headed things, however I have also coincided that regardless of who is more skilled (obviously I am) Vince is surely the more successful one. It may seem odd to criticize a billionaire, but there is no doubt in my mind that Vince has wasted millions with poor investments and missed out on millions more because he wasn’t smart enough to capitalize on a good thing. The most obvious of the bad investments was his World Bodybuilding Federation from the early 90’s. With rumors of a federal steroid investigation already brewing, it was not only a stupid businesses move but also a stupid legal move. Vince’s other famous flop, was of course the XFL while a great investment, Vince unfortunately did not have the foresight to follow through. Luckily for the
fans, Vince has been much more successful in creating stars, however his track record is far from perfect. Let’s take a look at a few:


Hulk Hogan: During a scripted segment Kurt Angle was said “Hulk Hogan became a Real American Hero, because Vince McMahon told him he was going to be a Real American Hero. If Vince wanted Hogan to be a Zookeeper he would have been Zookeeper it's that simple”. This quote is no doubt true, but makes one wonder; why did Vince seek to commit alchemy; the practice of turning lead into gold? Make no mistake, Hulk is lead, if dropped into the harsh environment which is ROH or Dragon Gate, he would have surely sank. While Vince may have turned Hulk into gold and made him the biggest name in all of wrestling, it could have all turned out so much better. Just imagine if he had used these creative juices on an all around athlete, how over could Vince have gotten this Meta-human? Hulk may famous, but it isn’t as one of the world’s best wrestler, it’s as one of the world’s best entertainers. Vince Surely misused a lot of time and effort on this man.

Bryan Danielson: As talked about in my last post, Bryan Danielson is one of themost talented technical wrestlers in the world today. So naturally I think Vince signing him is not only a shocking move (Vince is notorious for hating talented workers) but also a wise business investment. However Vince has horribly misunderstood a time honored practice. Anyone who has taken a business class knows that gold is a stable investment, and in troubled times (such as the wrestling industry is facing currently, at least rating wise) you should hold gold. In this scenario Bryan is gold, and Vince is following the lesson plan, he is keeping Bryan nice and safe in the bank. The only problem here is that Bryan isn’t gold, he’s a human, a human in his prime, and every day he sits on the shelf he is missing out on a potential five star matches. He may claim that he has some ring rust, but I can assure you Bryan is a better worker than anyone on WWE television even on his worst days. Personally I’ll take Danielson v. anybody before I sit through another Mark Henry match.

Check Back later this week as I continue to rip apart Vince McMahon!

With the debut of former ROH Champion Bryan Danielson a mere four days away, now is a good a time as any to take a look at a bizarre twist of fate. This Tuesday on the Syfy network, Danielson will debut as Daniel Bryans, a rookie wrestler trying to make his debut in the WWE as part of the their NXT initiative (formerly ECW). While I do admit most wrestling fans have never heard of ROH or any of its talent, I would never in my wildest dreams refer to Danielson as a rookie. Danielson has been wrestling since 1999 and has already had a brief stint in WWE developmental in 2001. Throughout his career he has wrestled elite wrestlers such as C.M. Punk, Brian Kendrick, Christopher Daniels, Low Ki, Samoa Joe, Paul London, AJ Styles, and Charlie Hass, as well as shitty yet more famous wrestlers like John Cena. Danielson was trained by some of the best, studying under both Shawn Michaels and William Regal, and has won best technical wrestler every since 2005 and most outstanding wrestler every year since 2006. Not to take anything away from the Miz, who has certainly come into his own since his 2003 wrestling debut (2006 WWE debut), but Danielson is far and away the superior WRESTLER.


On the converse, The Miz certainly has the advantage on Danielson in terms of public speaking ability; one would have to be oblivious to say Danielson is uncharismatic. During his tenure in ROH Danielson was able to captivate crowds, not only due to his superior wrestling ability but also due to his numerous catch phrases interjected during his matches. Akin to Jericho’s recent addition of “ask him” during submission moves, Danielson has always informed the referee that he has till five! on rope breaks, something he always got the audience to reiterate for him. Danielson has even managed to make a song as cheesy as Europe’s “The Final Countdown” into a cult phenomenon.

WWE needs to realize, that as Danielson himself says, he is “the best in the world”. Pairing him with Miz is just another example of Vince McMahon refusing to accept the fact that a wrestler or company (ECW) could become popular without him and this is his attempt to either recreate Danielson or destroy him. I know Bryan agrees with everything I’m saying, but I urge him not to comment, I would want Vince to derail his push because of something as silly as the truth (we all know Vince hates the truth).

Coming off their second 34-48 season last year, the Nets were ranked near the bottom for both attendance and viewership and the Nets were desperate for attention. Entertainment mogul and part owner Jay-Z was no help, so the Nets looked to another source; attention glutton Vince McMahon. While there was no official meeting or even a statement of inspiration, the results speak for themselves. Before the season even started, the Nets had been promoting their 10 game match-up plan. Not only was this an absurd publicity stunt, but it also pissed off die-hard lifelong fans; a key aspect of McMahon’s business plan (see John Cena and Hornswoggle). Allow me to elaborate, the ten game match-up consists of ten games, in to getting 10 tickets you also got five reversible jerseys. Conventional wisdom might lead you to think that these jerseys would perhaps consist of a home side and an away side, or perhaps a modern day side and a retro side. Conventional wisdom would be wrong, rather these jerseys promoted on one side a current Net and on the reverse a star player of another team (such as Kobe or Lebron). What was the result of this promotion, well it was twofold; 1) outrage the fans who this as an admission that the Nets weren’t worth supporting 2) drawing more fans of the opposing teams than fans of the Nets. As an added twist of the knife, the Nets decided to put these same stars (i.e Kobe and Lebron) on the tickets. Shit on your loyal fans than question where fan support is? Yup sounds like a classic Vince move.


As their record breaking 18th season starting loss approached the Nets entered a dead panic. Rather than simply offer discounts, the Nets went all or nothing, issuing free tickets to almost every single home game. Yet this still wasn’t the most ridiculous of all their promotions. As if to mock their own lack of ability, the Nets also ran a contest in which the winner could call one play at a future game. Although the play did not result in a score, the player did manage to get the shot off unblocked; he just missed. To build off this the Nets decided they should instead allow fans to coach an entire game, the results of this has yet to be seen. In a last ditch effort to garner interest, the Nets take a page straight out of WWE circa 2007-2008. Just as McMahon faked his death in 2007, the Nets too are coming up with ridiculous rumors, 1) John Wall is lock to join the Nets (wrong: The NBA employs a draft lottery) 2) Duke’s Coach K is joining the Nets next season 3) Lebron is joining the Nets during free agency. To further the Lebron rumors, Dominos has announced that once Lebron joins the Nets they will have one lucky fan get a pizza delivered by the Nets, Nets dancers, and Sly. If that isn’t McMahon’s Million Dollar Giveaway (in which McMahon personally called the lucky winner) I don’t know what is. To top it all off, the Nets recently acquired their own eccentric billionaire Mikhail Prokhorov.

It’s not only ridiculous promotions that the Nets borrowed from Vince either, but also actual performance. In the past few years, Vince has been known to push stars with limited wrestling ability such as the Great Khali, John Cena, Koslov, and Mark Henry, while firing young talented and entertaining athletes such as Brian Kendrick, Elijah Burke, and Charlie Haas. Similarly, the Nets continually put in garbage players such as YI Jianlian (worst defense in the league), while their bench mainly Kris Humphries dominates all aspects of the game.