Saturday, February 27, 2010

Vince McMahon World’s Best Bad Investor Part Two

Earlier this week I promised to deliver a sequel to my critically acclaimed critical look at Vince McMahon and a small sampling of what is surely a plethora of bad business moves. Surely, I could easily push this promise aside just like Vince pushed all his promises aside to Brett Hart in the mid-90’s. However, I am a far more noble man than Vince McMahon could ever hope to be, and unlike him I care not only about the financial success of ETS Daily but also the happiness of all my readers even if it means slightly more work. Fortunately for me the two usually go hand in hand; something Vince would be wise to learn and something ever fan would surely benefit from. Moving on: We’ve already talked about the past (Hulk Hogan) and the future (Bryan Danielson), so now let’s take a look at the middle ground.

HHH (Hunter Hearst Hogan): Before getting to the substance of my article, I feel it necessary to take a quick detour. I will however continue along the same road, that road being one paved with tumultuous insults and criticisms. While HHH is no were near as bad a worker as Hulk Hogan was he surely is undeserving of the praise and position he receives. Like Hogan, HHH took moderate ability (below average in Hogan’s case) and politicked his way to the top. For each man the world revolves around them, their egos bigger than their arms and their move sets as small as their brains. *HHH was once a great worker, but would now much rather incorporate himself into comedy skits in an attempt to mock (devalue) other workers. Thus making him a culprit in Vince’s bad investments. However, Vince’s guilt in this situation is slightly different. In this case as was the case with Hogan, Vince is guilty of overinvesting in a one dimensional dime a dozen worker. To put it in terms of the Olympics, HHH is a bronze medal worker (ironically the same color as his skin), yet Vince is continually puts HHH at the top of the podium. HHH wears the big gold belt around his bronze colored waist and every second he does he devalues it. Just liked a cheap “gold” necklace the next poor soul to wear it is stuck not only with an ugly green tinge on their skin, but also layers of low-priced bronzer. By selling bronze as a certified gold product, Vince is messing with the free market and the economic idea of rational self interest, he isn’t getting a fair market return on his investment and the fans aren’t getting what the paid for.

Elijah Burke: Initially Vince was guilty once again of attaching a prestigious product (Burke) with a steaming pile of shit (Sylvester Terkay). Rather than use Burke for his talent which includes tremendous public speaking skills and even more superior athletic ability, Vince thought it better to use his gift of gab to get a man who lacked any skill over. Fortunately for a brief period of time Vince allowed Elijah to spread his proverbial wings. During this time Elijah’s “stock” grew, he proved to the world he could walk the walk and wrestle the wrestle, he had established a fan base, a move set and even some catch phrases (5-UP!). Sadly, circumstances were reminiscent of the lead character in a recent motion picture masterpiece; Vince had only appeared to learn his lesson and quickly reverted to his old ways. After barley a year (counting from the firing of Terkay) of shining through the filth that is a majority (although not all) of the WWE roster and sporadically appearing on TV; Burke was fired. Vince had made some major investments (including a Wrestlemania match), he had bought into Burke stock low when he was a relative unknown and had fired him when his stock was high, as a bonafide athlete (albeit one who frequently jobbed out). While such methods work great in the stock market, wrestlers are the type of stock that pay weekly dividends rather than lump sum payments at the time of sale. When you build up a wrestler you hold on to him until he stops paying dividends, when he loses the ability to work, not when they are at the top of their physical game. Luckily Vince isn’t the only investor in the market, and Elijah seems to be doing quite well for himself in a place that allows him to utilize his assets and the fans to appreciate them.

While I would love to say that Vince has learned from his mistakes and that the product is on a never ending upward swing, I am not that naive. Luckily for ETS Daily readers that means that more Vince articles will surely be posted in the future


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