Saturday, February 6, 2010

Nets add Injury to Insult in Motown (ETS Daily Exclusive)

The Nets fell to the Pistons 99-92, after trailing for most of the game. They made their now usual 4th quarter comeback to stay with the Pistons but ultimately went down in defeat, as usual. The bigger story, however, were the injuries (yes, multiple) that occured in the final minutes of the game, when Devin Harris and Jarvis Hayes collided with one another going after a loose ball. While the extent of the injuries is unknown at press time, both men went down and the game was delayed for quite some time. Devin appeared to have hurt his shoulder, and Jarvis was limping heavily favoring his left knee. Harris had 21 points in the game on 7-12 shooting, which led the Nets, and Brook Lopez added 20 of his own. Harris and Lopez had 5 boards appeace, and Harris added 7 assists to Lopez's 5. The star of the game, however, was Detroit's rookie Jonas Jerebko, who was a perfect 9-9 from the floor and had 20 points to go along with 7 rebounds. Rip Hamilton had 17 of his own and Rodney Stucker had a double-double with 10 points and 11 assists. The Nets have now lost 6 in a row, are 4-46 on the season, and are an abysmal 1-26 on the road. Even worse, their next game (and final game of this 4 game road trip), is in Cleveland, against the conference-leading Cavaliers.
Friday, February 5, 2010

Superbowl AD-vantage (ETS Daily Exclusive)

Most likely everyone in the country knows the Superbowl is this weekend, the real question to ask people is why are you planning on watching it. Within this question arises some complications about the actual importance of the game. I recently asked a personal friend that if he had the choice of not being able to watch any NFL games or coverage for a year but his team would win the Superbowl, or he could watch as much of the NFL product but his team would finish with a winning record but no Superbowl. He choose to win the Superbowl. After questioning a few more “fans” (if you consider people who don’t even enjoy watching the sport fans) I came to discover that this is a common theme although maybe not one held by the majority. If this is such a popular sentiment than why are all these people watching the games when “their” team isn’t even playing in the game. Some will answer because they enjoy watching a good, hard played, competitive game. I applaud that answer those people know the true meaning of sports. Some will answer they want get wasted and the Superbowl is a great excuse, I applaud those people to an extent as well, they understand the point of life; have fun while doing minimal damage to the environment or others (this of course excludes drinking which leads to driving or domestic abuse). Others still will say because of the commercials, in fact I believe that most would answer this. We’ll actually I believe most would lie right to my face and tell me that they just happened to be a fan of either team, but I would know the truth.
I’m so confident in this last point that I am willing to bet (post bets in the comments section, I’ll get back to you) that if the NFl divided the Superbowl in two parts; part one containing 60 minutes of action (11 minutes if you read my last post) and part two containing just new Superbowl ads as well as the half time show, they second part would outscore the first. Honestly if we discount sports shows such as the ones on the NFL network or ESPN look at the coverage. Generally there is a two minute segment with news anchors giving their picks and pretending like they actually know jack shit about a sport they never watch, this is usually followed up by a two minute segment about the likely weather conditions of the game. The last and most important segment is usually a fifteen minute or so look back on past Superbowl ads and this trend continues after the game as well
However that is not the point of the article. The real point is, are these firms getting their money’s worth. We all know that millions watch the Superbowl, nearly 100 million on average in fact. But with a cost of about $2.8 million per ad is it worth the money. I’ll admit that I have watched a commercial for a snack product and thought to myself “wow I haven’t had that in ages” and subsequently went out and purchased it as I am sure most Americans have. Then again I work at a grocery store (for now) and I am sure that I would have scanned a bag of generic junk food eventually and be enticed to buy it. So I can accept Coca Cola and McDonalds doing Superbowl commercials, but what excuse do car companies have? Has anyone ever seen a Toyota Corolla commercial and with shock and amazement exclaimed “wow I never knew this existed before”. Since the Corolla has been the number one selling car since 1997 I am doubtful. Even if someone had never seen this car do people honestly make purchases on a whim? Am I the only person; who when in the market for a big ticket item such as a car, insurance, a MP3 player (Zune all the way), or cell phone, actually does research on the best models, brands, and prices? Look at the asinine Geico gecko commercials, has anyone honestly ever been convinced to call up and change companies or even inquire about an insurance company based on a cartoon animal. Anyone swayed by such a commercial is likely someone I wouldn’t want to insure and certainly wouldn’t want driving an on average two ton killing machine. Honestly if anyone has ever come into contact with someone who was sold on car insurance by a lizard please contact me, I will immediately revoke this person’s license and then burry my head in a pillow at the thought of living in a world with people so easily influenced. Anyway this has grown beyond a Superbowl article and instead turned into a condemnation of ads in general. As ads are what fund our favorite TV shows I would recommend everyone ignore my statements or at least pretend to. Pretend that you base your every thought on commercials, because I really don’t feel like paying every time I turn on the TV. To get back to the Superbowl I leave you with two memorable commercials.

Favorite: 2002 Bud Light: In this ad a man races up stairs for sex and beer only to slide out the window on satin sheets. Why I love It: It has Sex, Drugs (alcohol is a drug), Violence. Which is the scientific equation for excitement.
Least Favorite: Any Budweiser Wasssup Commercial: Dumb asses screaming Wassup! for thirty seconds that is it. Why I hate it: It has nothing to do with the product other than to say that if you drink enough you start talking/acting like a douche bag. Maybe I’m wrong maybe this was a PSA and not an ad. The real question is why would you like this one.
Feel free to post your own favorites in the comments section.
Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Who's the Baby? (ETS Daily Exclusive)

Boston Celtics forward Glen Davis is looking to change his image, first step, lose "Big Baby". Davis sure hasn't acted like he deserves to lose the name, he sat out the beginning of the season due to a broken thumb, how did he break it?, by fighting with a childhood friend. When asked what he'd like to use in place of "Big Baby, a reporter suggested "Uno. Uno." I'm not usually one to complain about nicknames, but when you literally steal Ocho Cinco's name and modify it to fit your number, thats when I'll complain. Until that asinine suggestion no one knew "Big Baby's" number, and now that we do, all we'll remember it for is the time you tried to rip off Ocho. "Big Baby" isn't going anywhere so he might as well get used to it, the named originated because, "I was a big baby, literally. I was 14 pounds... [the nickname] just stuck with me throughout my career." said Davis. Some may argue that the name came from his awful habit of crying on the bench when he messes up or when someone is mean. Davis, in his third season, is averaging 5.8 points and 4.1 rebounds.

Raptors Defeat Nets, but not Horribly (ETS Daily Exclusive)

The Toronto Raptors felled the Nets for the second straight time this year, 108-99. The Nets were actually in this one, and at one point had a bridged 20-2 run starting from late in the first and going into the second which helped build them a 12 point lead. Obviously, they couldn't sustain, but did go back and forth exchanging leads with Toronto untill late in the 3rd quarter when they started to let things slip away, and never got back on track. Devin Harris and Brook Lopez were the only Nets to have somewhat poor performances. Devin shot 4-17 from the field, but did manage 15 points and 8 assists. Brook, on the other hand, only took 10 shots, making 5, but had only 3 rebounds and no blocks (3 blocks against). Humphris had a double-double off the bench with 13 points and 11 rebounds on 5-12 shooting. Two players on the Raptors, Bargnani and Bosh, had 20 point nights, and Jared Jack turned in 17 points and 9 assists, and was 3-4 from behind the arc. The Nets are now 4-44, losers of 4 straight, and have to play in Boston on Friday night. If you are like me and are rooting for the worst season in history, you have to be happy with the way this road trip is shaping up.

Spoiler: Superbowl Results (ETS Daily Exclusive)

With the Superbowl a mere four day away it is only appropriate to tell everyone what I think will happen because of course I have special knowledge on the situation that other mortals can only dream of. First off there is no doubt in my mind the Colts will win this game, mainly because my mind is so full of knowledge that there really isn’t any room to fit any doubt but also because I know exactly how this game is going to play out. I’m skeptical about giving away to many details about the early parts of the game as my man Jim McMahon will be appearing in the 24th anniversary reshoot of the Superbowl Shuffle (see bottom) but this time under the sponsorship of Boost mobile and their $50 dollar plan and I would hate for anyone not to tune into that simply because they knew the first quarter result. So what I can tell you is that at the half the Colts will be leading the Saints by two touchdowns, upon which Peyton Manning will audible away the clock. Late in the 3rd Drew Brees will lead the Saints to a touchdown, Barely flustered Peyton will slowly march down the field, once again audibling away the clock only to settle for a field goal. At this point the Saints will miss some desperation shoots leading to a Colts win by a margin of 10. While I can’t tell you anything more detailed than that, what I can guarantee you is that Peyton Manning will dull down the game. Before the readers jump down my throat, I will admit I love and respect Peyton, he’s talented, he’s a machine, he has the ability understand all aspects of both offense and defense, and of course he’s funny. However if Peyton announced tomorrow that he was retiring from football to peruse a career as a professional commercial actor I would not shed a tear. Peyton is great in those commercials and in my opinion is far more entertaining off the field than on, he’s just too predictable, I’d much rather watch the human interception machine Jay Cutler at least he mixes it up. To further my point on last time I will cite a competitor (who will remain nameless) , according to said competitor the average game only contains 10 minutes and 43 seconds of action from whistle to whistle, considering Peyton uses up 38 seconds of the 40 second play clock with audibles (which admittedly is why he is so effective I’m sure that 11 minutes of action will be much lower this Sunday. (head to 2:10 for your daily dose of McMahon)

Ryan's Outburst (ETS Daily Exclusive)

Coach Rex Ryan has been know throughout his first season to shake things up, and get people's attention. this past week however he did it in a very different way, by flipping the bird at a dolphins fan. I completely support Rex in this situation because i am a jets fan. whats the big deal?, he was at an MMA event watching herschel walker kick the crap out of some chump, why do people gotta be hating? its not his fault you couldn't win enough games to get into the playoffs, you just suck. the nfl needs to screw off when a coach or player isn't in season, i don't get why rex ryan can't flip the bird in public but i can, i just don't make sense.
Tuesday, February 2, 2010

Robin Ficker Super-Fan

I’ve never been a conventional sports fan, many because I feel the purpose of sports has been perverted. They started as a display of athleticism, a test of skill and strength but above all as entertainment. Over time athletes have gone from playing for the fans (paying customers) to playing to win, to playing simply for a paycheck. That is why today I take the time to honor NBA’s most valuable fan. I am of course talking about Robin Ficker. Ficker a fixture at Washington Wizard’s games (then Bullets) was essentially the living breathing definition of home court advantage. Ficker was essentially the Peyton Manning of fans as he took his hob seriously and just as Peyton studied tape, Ficker studied the personal lives of all the Bullets opponents to ensure a successful distraction. Ficker has messed with the greats instigating Jordan to throw a basketball at him during a game, Larry Bird calling him his number one pick in the purely imaginary NBA fan draft and Charles Barkley flying him to the 1993 NBA finals to mess with Jordan yet again. Sadly in a Rodger Goodell (commissioner of the No Fun League) when the Wizards moved to the nearby MCI Center they also tried to move Ficker’s season tickets which were previously behind the opponents bench. Ficker would have none of that has not been to a game since although he still roots from home for a 75 win season while adding “I told him I love the NBA players but not the owners”. He had held those seats for 12 years, and it truly speaks to the current state of sports that owners couldn’t care less about the fans if it could potentially cost them an extra dollar or inject any bit of excitement of fan participating in occasionally stagnate games. As Ficker put it “Being honest with the fans is just as important as winning the Super Bowl,”. Here’s some articles and a video, I hope all who read this truly understand the talent and dedication of this man, not only did he fight for the rights of every fan but he also fights for the rights of every AmeriFAN as a libertarian. On a side note Ficker lost his season tickets in 1997 and the Wizards acquired Jordan in 2001 given their history imagine the chaos of that, thanks a lot Wizards management.

Top 5 NBA Centers Named Mark

5. Marko Milic
1 Career Block 30 Career Rebounds 108 Career Points
When your NBA career is only 44 games it look a lot better to just list career statistics. drafted in 1997 by the 76er's, he was quickly traded to the suns for tom chambers. i don't know who tom chambers is but i'm almost positive he is better than Marko Milic.

4. Mark Crow
1 Block 27 Rebounds 84 Points
how can i have a list of any players without having a net? drafted in 1977, he played 15 games for the NJ nets. he also had 5 steals and 8 assists which is really good for a center in 15 games. no reason was ever given for why the nets waived him, they just did

3. Mark Blount
0.8 BPG 4.6 RPG 8.2 PPG
pretty much any center named mark makes this list if you haven't realized, although his numbers aren't staggering, he was 7 feet tall. played starting in 2001 for the celtics, and was traded several time to the nuggets, t'wolves, and heat. that pretty much sums up his career.

2. Marc Gasol
1.3 BPG 8.2 RPG 13.1PPG
i strongly prefer Marc to Pau, Pau is a douche. Marc is having a really good start to a hopefully long and consistent career. drafted by the lakers in 07, he was traded to the griz and hasn't looked back, currently one of my favorite players.

1. Mark Eaton
3.5 BPG 9 RPG 6PPG
solid numbers for a man who was 7-4, in his magical 84-85 season he averaged 9.7 points, 11.3 rebounds and an astounding 5.6 blocks per game. he is also number 4 shot-blocker all time in the NBA with 3064 blocks. in 89 he made his only all star game and had 5 rebounds, 2 blocks and a foul. without a doubt the greatest NBA center named Mark of all time. spent his career with the utah jazz, he was originally going to be a mechanic for a living.

Views on the NJ Nets

for those who don't know I love the nets, this season however i love the nets losing. they are too far gone to take seriously so I look forward to them losing to secure the record for most loses in a single season. the record is currently 9-73 set by the 1972-73 76er's, and the nets are just on pace to beat the record. tonights game against the pistons was far to close and the pistons should've put them out of it in the first half. the nets are the biggest laughing stock in recent history and i love every second of it. Next season looks bright though, and i predict them to win the nba championship after they acquire john wall from the draft and lebron from free agency. until then GO NETS!!!

ETS Daily (Minus the ETS)

Since ETS Daily failed due to message board capabilities i'm just going to post whats on my mind about sports and have posts with the greatest dream teams ever. (don't worry i'll still rant about the Nets and Jets... not so much the Mets)


We have special treat for all you ETS Daily out there, in conjunction with one of our web associates,

For all readers who sign up over there and attend one of the online give-aways, you will get six (6) FREE codes for players from your favorite NBA team!!!

You can whisper the secret code
to AdrenalynXL in the thread ETS Daily Promotion to be recognized as part of the promotion.

Welcome To Minus the ETS

Minus the ETS is a sports news blog dedicated to the sports that ESPN and your local news decide to leave out. Everything from the NBA to professional wrestling, now with movie reviews!!!

Coming Soon:
Learn a Foreign Language Articles!!!
Countdowns of the Best Players!!!
Why Lebron is Better than Everything Else!!!
Play-by-Play Breakdown of Taco Bell Superbowl Ad!!!
and as always more ridiculous sports!!!


"I read your articles on ETS Daily a few days're a good writer...there was good stuff there..i didnt know someof teh stuff you were talking about but it was still interesting and I am offically a fan lol:)" - Beyond devoted anonymous reader