Tuesday, March 9, 2010

NBA Plans Backfire

Normally these days, when you hear the words backfire and NBA in the same sentence, you would think that Gilbert Arenas had some sort of gun malfunction as a result of a bad game of checkers. However, I use the term in a way far less painful to all the Agent Zero fans out there and far more enjoyable to all the Mavericks (aka the New Wizards) fans out there. If you've been keeping up with the Birdman's latest articles you should be able to figure out that I am referring to NBA Commissioner David Stern's latest conspiracy. To reiterate briefly, late this February Stern attempted to exact revenge on Dallas Maverick's owner Mark Cuban for some unflattering comments Cuban had made regarding NBA officials. As Mark is a multimillionaire, Stern's usual tactic of excessive fining (something he is slowly refining as per instructions be mentor and NFL commissioner Roger Goodell) didn't work. Thus Stern was forced to resort t more subversive tactics, which came in the form of banning the chewing of plastic straws; a Caron Butler mainstay. Stern's logic (something he rarely uses) was that by forcing Butler to change his in game routine, he could throw him off rhythm thus preventing the Mavericks from what could be their 10th straight playoff appearance.

Fortunately Stern has failed. Here we are 11 games into Caron Butler's Mavericks run, 5 with straws, 6 without, and things are looking good. It would seem that all the energy Caron had previosuly exerted in chewing straws has been converted to raw playing talent. First off Caron went 4-1 in his first 5 games with the Mavericks but has jumped up to 6-0 once straw chewing was banned (and 7-0 once they thrash the Nets). Butler has also been able to up his average minutes per game from 36 to 37 a clear sign of increased stamina. But he didn't do this just by playing longer, no he's also playing more efficiently. With Straws on the Mavericks, Butler averaged 14.4 points per game, 37% shooting, 16.66% on 3's 74% on free throws, 1.4 steals a game, while straw-less he shoots 19 points per game, 52% shooting, 37.% on 3's, 80% on free throws, and 2.16 steals a game, all the while assists, blocks and rebound decreased only slightly. While some may say this is simply Caron adjusting to a new team and a new style to play,I saw this karma slapping David Stern and his bitter,greedy, vengeful ways right in the face. Let this be a warning to Roger Goodell and Bud Selig, just like their apprentice, if they try to play politics in their respective sports they're gonna get burned.

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