The Baltimore Ravens have long had one of the most dominant defenses in the league, and with the recent additions of Joe Flacco and Ray Rice, the future looks very bright. There is, however, a glaring need for improvement at the wide receiver position. The Ravens' current number one option, Derrick Mason, came very close to retiring in 2009, and Flacco's second option, Mark Clayton, caught just 34 balls last season. These questions make upgrading Baltimore's receiving corps at least the number two priority for the Ravens' front office this offseason.


Their number one priority, on the other hand, hasn't changed for an entire decade: to do whatever they can to distract people from the fact that the Ravens' All-Pro linebacker, Ray Lewis, stabbed Jacinth Baker and Richard Lollar in January 2000. Accordingly, we at ETS Daily would like to take a moment to congratulate the Ravens on a job well done. Since the murders, Lewis has participated in eight Pro Bowls, led the NFL in tackles three times, and was even named Most Valuable Player of the Super Bowl not one year after ending the lives of two innocent people. Through it all, rarely has it ever even been mentioned that the same tackling machine being lauded as a hero and a role model on television sets around the world is nothing short of a cold-blooded killer. Now, that's not to say there weren't any bumps in the road; for example, Lewis was not actually allowed to accept the trip to Disney World awarded to Super Bowl MVPs, and had to rely on teammate Trent "Honky" Dilfer to deliver the famous "I'm going to Disney World!" catchphrase. But the point is, no one really made a big deal of it; after all, Lewis had no interest in hanging around a place with so many witnesses anyway.


So imagine the wave of excitement that went through the Baltimore front office on February 8th when Roger Goodell reinstated former Browns receiver Donte' Stallworth. "Not only are we getting a guy that has proven his ability to take a hit in traffic," Ravens GM Ozzie Newsome told ETS Daily, "but he's actually a convicted murderer! Ray is in the clear!" Indeed, although Lewis did plead guilty to a misdemeanor charge of obstruction of justice, and also made separate, undisclosed settlements with both the Baker family and India Lollar (born months after the brutal death of her father at the hands of the Ravens' signal caller), he was never actually convicted of murder. "In addition, the Ravens Family would like to extend our heartfelt appreciation to Mario Reyes," Newsome added, in reference to Stallworth's vehicular homicide victim, "for his selfless contribution to the image of our franchise's most recognizable figure."

Have you ever wanted a topic near and dear to your heart mocked and ridiculed on an international platform? Of course you have, and now is your chance with our "Guess the ETS" contest. To enter the "Guess the ETS" contest all you have to do is correctly guess what the E the T and S in ETS Daily stand for. One lucky winner will get the opportunity to submit a the topic of a future article to our ETS Daily staff, you will even be able to choose which one of our elite ETS Daily staffers writes it! All entries must be submitted vie email to minustheets@gmail.com by 2/20/2010 (Saturday) by 11:59 P.M. along with your guess, first name, state and any other information you feel comfortable sharing with ETS Daily. Ets Daily will not publish any personal information without your expressed emailed consent, and we look froward to hearing your "Guess the ETS" guesses.

In this giant world we call Earth; we rarely encounter people with the ability to judge a movie by its trailer. Lucky enough, one of those select few people writes for ETS Daily and happens to be me (Ricardo Sampson). This time of year is one of the worst for movie-goers, there is rarely a good movie showing (with the exception of James Cameron’s Avatar (2010)). In light of the slow movie season, let’s watch some trailers and get excited about this upcoming Spring/Summer! Who knows, maybe I’ll even throw in some terrible movies…

Iron Man II (Jon Favreau)

In theaters May 7, 2010

This is one of those rare trailers that takes a movie that everyone is nervous about, and completely relieves all their anxiety. When I saw the cast list for Iron Man II, I couldn’t help but gasp at the enormous amount of characters the movie was trying to incorporate. Some might ask why the inclusion of so many characters is bad, and I reply to them with Spider-Man III (Sam Raimi, 2007). My heart was sunk at the bottom of my stomach until I saw this trailer, so feel free to get pumped and tell your friends!

The Last Airbender (M. Night Shyamalan)

In theaters July 2, 2010

This thirty second can hardly satisfy my thirst for movie trailer action but is successful in officially convincing me to see this movie. However, there is one semi-major problem with this trailer, and the teaser trailer that was released one year ago: M. Night Shyamalan’s name in the trailer. It’s bad enough that I have been biting my nails ever since the Superbowl trying to predict the success of this movie, why did M. Night Shyamalan, one of the most hit-or-miss directors of contemporary Hollywood cinema, have to direct this film? Have somebody photoshop his name out of the trailer and I might spray my shorts a little over this trailer.

Clash of the Titans (Louis Leterier)

In theaters April 2, 2010

I hate to be the guy that ruins a something great, but there is a large amount of hype over this movie; and this movie looks completely average. I’ll tell you exactly what it looks like: a pile of money with no artistic direction. That doesn’t mean the trailer isn’t awesome. I most likely will see this movie, and all of the CGI contained within it, because of this trailer. Just don’t come crying to me after the movie when you are extremely disappointed…

Robin Hood (Ridley Scott)

In theaters May 14, 2010

I would like to go on record and state that the most exciting part of this trailer is not a physical portion of it, but rather an idea brought about by it. And that idea is the thought of Russell Crowe and Ridley Scott teaming up again for another movie. I have heard great skepticism over this movie being “Gladiator II,” and I would like to silence that now. It is true that I will always see Robin Hood as “Maximus” in this upcoming movie, but the story and just about everything else will vary greatly from Gladiator (2000). How bout them “bow and apples?”

DON’T SEE THIS:

Wolfman (Joe Johnston)

In theaters February 12, 2010

This movie is a trap. The trailer can ensnare the average movie-goer into seeing this movie, only to greatly piss them off once they see the movie. There is nothing special about this movie. In fact, it is only a really crappy rip-off of An American Werewolf in London (John Landis, 1981). If you are really itching to see the movie, it’s not a complete waste of money, just don’t expect this movie to stick with you.

The Crazies (Breck Eisner)

In theaters February 26, 2010

For some reason, Hollywood thinks they can remake classic horror flicks and make some money off of the good reputation that movie created. This equation just translates into a really terrible movie. Please, for the love of god, do not waste your money on a movie that has not only been made before, but just does not work in our modern society.

That's right, sports fans! They tried to keep us apart, but the return of 'The Fish' was nothing short of inevitable. Now, if I may, I'd like to put the whole ugly incident and resulting suspension behind us and move on to more important things. After all, so much has happened since I last posted that it's hard to figure out where to begin. No, I'm not talking about that sleazeball Tiger Woods; it's the WNBA offseason: Where Amazing Happens!

The first development worthy of mention is the triumphant advancement in WNBA player salaries for the 2010 season. Under the current CBA, the maximum salaries of the best players in the WNBA will for the first time in the history of the league be allowed to exceed $100,000! Phoenix Mercury guard Diana Taurasi declined to comment on the breakthrough when ETS Daily reached out to the 2009 MVP, but we can only assume she is ecstatic. To put this milestone in perspective, consider that Blake Griffin will receive only $5,000,000 this season for his presence in several preseason games for the Los Angeles Clippers. If elite female players like Taurasi can finally pull down salaries in excess of 2% of what draft-studs like Griffin are making, young women in America can take solace in knowing that, in the words of 2008 NBA Champion Kevin Garnett, "Anything is possible!" (In a related story, Garnett will earn $16.4 M this season).

Another big story this offseason has been the strategic finish of my New York Liberty (13-21) at the bottom of the final standings for the 2009 season. As any current Nets fan is well aware, the best way to build for the future is to lose as many games as possible to get in line for the upcoming draft lottery. As any current Knicks fan is aware, however, when you trade your future #1 picks away, this strategy no longer works. So, in true Isiah Thomas fashion, the Liberty went into November's lottery handing the Minnesota Lynx the best shot at the top overall pick, since they received New York's 26% in addition to their own 17%. So, when New York inevitably won the top overall choice and Minnesota took the fourth overall, it was a big victory for the Lynx. Making this victory even better, however, was the fact that the only team that finished with a worse record than the Liberty, the Sacramento Monarchs (12-22, 42% chance), will not be needing the second overall pick they were awarded. Indeed, the Lynx will select both first and third overall in April's draft.

Which brings us to the good news for the Liberty: it's the 2009 Sacramento Monarchs Dispersal Draft! Held via conference call on December 14th, the Liberty landed All-Star Nicole Powell with the top pick (apperently the Monarchs went under so fast, New York didn't even have a chance to trade away their Dispersal Draft picks). I know what you're thinking: adding an All-Star out of the blue is going to kill our cap space! But, alas, the CBA also allows the salary cap for the 2010 season to be raised from $803,000 to $827,000, allowing more than enough room for a few All-Stars and maybe even a couple maintenance workers so the Liberty players no longer have to clean up the whole arena after every home game.

Finally, before leaving you I must discuss my displeasure with Commissioner David Stern, who, since my last post, just sat around and did nothing while one of the league's most storied franchises was heartlessly bought off by an Oklahoma-based ownership group and shipped away. In complete ignorance of the loyal fans, Mr. Stern did nothing to prevent a proud sports city from losing its most successful team in recent memory. It is not only the fans that have been outraged by this criminal act; the players have also expressed their displeasure. In fact, the team is currently very worried that two of the team's All-Stars will refuse to play in their new city. Indeed, both Deanna Nolan and Katie Smith have said through their respective agents (who presumably have day jobs) that they will not be honoring their contract extensions as they pertain to playing in Tulsa.

R.I.P. Detroit Shock (1998-2009).